Archive for September, 2010

Failure is the Only Option

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

what's wrong with this picture?

It has everything! A guy with a gun, a flying car, and a girl in a purple space suit!

I got up this morning still a little drunk from the night before. Vodka hangovers are relatively kind. Today there was a chance of hanging out and doing some things, but I suppose that will happen later. So…anyway… I discovered a collection, in this apartment, of numerous burned copies of movies. Among these, if you’re not already aware, was a little something called The Adventures of Pluto Nash.

Now, I had heard about this one and I knew it was considered bad, but I remember wanting to go see it when it came out. I heard the bad news about it then and, of course, opted out of giving it a look. Eventually, maybe, I’d get around to seeing it. And here, this morning, was my chance.

I like Eddie Murphy. I think most of us have a liking for Eddie Murphy, but he’s been making nothing but bad movies for the past few years. It’s sad, Eddie. Cut it out. This one falls in that category of bad movies. And it’s not really that bad of a movie, but it is hugely disappointing. I went in not expecting much and I got even less than that.

When you watch Pluto Nash, you can see there’s so much potential there. It could have been something much better, but it wasn’t. It’s quite possible there was a better script at one point, but it was completely torn to shreds leaving with this sad specemen of a movie. First of all, the title seems to imply something alltogether more exciting, but we’re not given that. The entire thing takes place on the moon and never leaves this location. You get little tidbits of Earth, but there’s no implication there’s anything wrong with our home ball of dirt save for some sort of international ban on gambling(this makes no sense). Everyone here is just on the moon. And things are… “futuristic”.

moon casino

I didn't even know there was an ocean let alone a beach.

There are also bald guys and girls with metallic hair wandering around called robots. Nothing special there.

Everything has already happened. Pluto Nash had a bunch of adventures as a smuggler long before this movie begins. Now he’s just trying to go legit and run a club. The big baddie is trying to buy him out. Nash doesn’t want to do it, so goons are sent out to kill him even after blowing up Nash’s club. The rest of the movie is a chase scene as Nash seeks out to confront the big baddie on the other side of the moon and the goons repeatedly fail to kill him.

space soots!!

Space suits! This is totally in space, right? Guys?

He finally reaches the big baddie, Rex Crater, who reveals his evil plan(which isn’t so much evil, but lame) and we end up with a bad joke out of too many cartoons. It’s not bad, but it’s not a good movie either. It’s meh.

some robots

Hey, baby, let's you and me bump shiney metal parts. We are totally robots.

I seem to recall a little trouble people had with a scene featuring a freeze dried Chihuahua. It’s not real, people… and besides, within the logic of this movie, the dog is fine and would be normal upon thawing. I think the thing was thrown in a trailer or something. In the movie it served no purpose but to be a joke. The kind that doesn’t make you laugh. Not because it’s not funny to freeze dogs but because it barely registers as a joke. It’s more like an interesting fact about dog ownership on the moon.

Nothing in this movie jumps at you. Good sci-fi films have very iconic things in them. Star Wars is loaded with the stuff. Alien, Star Trek, Serenity, Fifth Element(love that one). This movie is just sad. Nothing quite lasts long enough for it to feel like it could have been something iconic. I’m disappointed that they didn’t even seem to try. It’s like they gave up early. No risks taken. The baddie’s just a big jerk. His most evil acts weren’t that evil… and they had already happened a long time ago in a galaxy far far away on the moon.

in the flying car

Get me outta this damn movie!!

One thing I can say for it, though, when I see this kind of stuff it makes me want to make something better. It had potential. It could have been decent, but somewhere along the line it got screwed. My guess… far more than once.