Robotic Dragon

So… Marlon and Shawn returned to the Liquid Zoo last night. Our illustrious host was absent due to having a paying gig, so the host for last night’s open mic was Chris. There were several Chrises and I failed to remember last names, save for one I had heard before, so no last name for this Chris… for now.

I know I’ve labeled this an LA blog, but Van Nuys is close enough to count, so I’m not categorizing it in the Out of Town category(as of this posting, there’s nothing under that category… but there will be).

This was my third night going to comedy open mic at the Zoo, and this was my time to finally give it a shot. Last time I tried to do comedy, I paniced and ran away crying in the rain. Really… it’s highly important to have material if you’re auditioning for a ventriloquist act in the High School talent show.

I decided earlier on in the week that this was the night I was going to go up. Plenty of crazy shit happened to me on the days leading up to it. Got a flat. Helped my brother/roommate after the same happened to him. Went to a celebrity birthday party(a couple days later tried to look up Sweedish porn with the same said celebrity(hint: it’s somehow related to muppets)).

I assumed all this crazy shit was the universe pushing me in the direction of going for the stage. I went in wanting to be #4 on the list. I didn’t get to choose, but somehow I was listed at #4. Spooky. I ended up being #5, Chris telling me, “You’re next, ” when #4 was called up.

Suddenly I found myself terrified. Heart racing. I’m Rabbit from 8 Mile, though falling short of vomiting in the bathroom. I wanted to run up to Chris and beg for a pair of scissors to cut off the wristband coverd in smiley faces hat implied that I was a comic ready for the stage. Instead I took that left turn while #4 was still on stage and spent a short minute or two in the restroom reminding myself of how I said I would hate myself if I didn’t go up.

I was able to find myself back in the audience, in a nice, comfortable, dark corner before heading up. I got applause coming up, thanks to the host. I started with my name and a joke on that. Got a laugh. Maybe not the best one, but I got it. Being up there, lights in my eyes, didn’t make the fear go away. I had to think like Shinji Ikari, I musn’t run away. I musn’t run away. I almost did after stumbling a bit to get started.

My mind blanked out, but I had notes. Notes related to what I wanted to say. I got applause following telling my age and having recently turned it. I had a bit of a stride going and, though I was still stuttering and scared, I felt less like running away.

I was rather happy to get the signal for time. Yes, partially because I could leave the small stage, but mostly because I had been able to fill the time. I was in part afraid I wouldn’t fill the time.

I stepped off, got applause, again, thanks to the host. I love comedy hosts. They will be my friend forever now. (So far)Always eager to give support to the comic on the stage no matter how bad his act may be.

I was pleased with myself. I had gotten a few laughs and applause(whether I deserved it or not, I got it). It was a good first run. I’m going to work on the stuff I felt worked, remove some condesending shit, and add something else, possibly related to work, and do it again. The goal is at least three times on stage before my birthday at the end of April. One down, two to go. Maybe I’ll do three before March.

So… I found myself at a private celebrity party on Friday, at The Den, of course. At this point, the odds of me getting into such an event anywhere else is rather slim.

I arrived a bit later than the start of the event with Andi, a friend of my brother’s from Kansas, who had just flown in the night before. We were met by a large, intimidating man, whose head I could not see due to the slope of the parking lot I was pulling into. Luckily, my brother had stepped outside at just that moment and I was able to pull in and hand my car over to the valet.

We walked down inside. After getting some drinks from the bar, we were met by a friend of Andi’s and his date. Half the night was the four of us hanging out in the corner of the bar looking around occasionally for faces we might recognize.

We eventually wandered outside to the firepit, which was very toasty, and crowded with people getting warm in the cold night. Segel was sitting in what’s apparently his regular spot. I don’t think he’s ever there at the same time I regularly go. Either that, or I simply walk past him on my way inside.

My phone’s still new and I couldn’t manage a photo of any value, so I’ve made the following diagram of what we, at one point, found ourselves.

I still don’t know who Katy Perry is, but Andi recognized her, so she’s in the diagram.

Totally starstruck when Seth MacFarlane walked in the door(top of the diagram) and walked in the same direction as I did. I hope he wasn’t paying a whole lot of attention to me, because I was just freaking out. He stopped at the bar, and I kept going to the other side, trying not to stare. He’s actually quite hansome and a little better looking in person than on TV. I may have managed to share a friendly smile and that’s probably the full extent of contact with that guy ever.

Later on, Neil Patrick Harris walked in. I felt like he’s one I could possibly say something to, so I decided I’d give it a shot and mention Dr. Horrible… after yet another trip to the bathroom. Couldn’t find him after the return… damn.

Again, we were outside… just in time to see Jason Segel recieve an awesome hat. Maybe photos of him wearing it will pop up online. Anyway… we were crammed together in a tight spot right next to his table and I see some butt clevage on what I assume to be a chick, leaning over the table. I make a remark to my group about someone bringing crack to the party, only later to see that this ass belongs to Russel Brand. Not that he heard me. And I couldn’t, at the time, remember his name, but I knew I had seen him in Forgetting Sarah Marshall and taking over current TV for a night, as well as a Comedy Central special.

I recognized a few other faces wandering around, but couldn’t place the names. This was mainly due to the fact that I’ve seen these other people in things but never bothered to stay for a name. And… the whole bad with names things.

I’m hoping some of these people really liked The Den and will come back in the future on their own. Perhaps Monday nights…

So, it’s a rainy night here in LA. Supposed to continue through the week. The usual complaint around here is that people forget how to drive. Some bitch about people going too slow and I have heard some complain about people going too fast. I suppose since it’s a Sunday on a holiday weekend, there was nothing to complain about.

Traffic on the 10 moved at a reasonable pace. I really wanted to have something to say about it, seeing as how I’ve had no excuse to update the blog, but there was nothing.

Work, however, was a pain in the ass. Half of my job is standing outside. When it rains, that means I stand outside in the cold rain repeatedly answering the same questions about the rain schedule changes. Not particularly fun when you have to do your best to imagine it’s the first time you’ve heard it and you’re really happy to answer it.

At least, out in it tomorrow with a different position, I won’t have the same stresses as today. Especially since it’s likely to be already raining by the time I get there.

Monday night’s regular visit to The Den will, I hope, be more interesting than the weather. I’ll be taking my comedy notebook in with me… maybe work on something for Wednesday at Liquid Zoo. I’ve certianally met with some golden material as of late.